Goku gets a Swirly Part Two: Goku's Revenge!
by Orchideater
Summary: Goku never forgot that little practical joke his Kame House buddies played on him when he was a kid. Now it's time to strike back! read 'Goku gets a Swirly' part one first


Goku gets a Swirly Part Two: Goku's Revenge!

By Orchideater

Rated PG for pranks and misuse of toilet facilities

DBZ universe and characters property of Akira Toriyama and official licensees!

Finished 4/12/04

****

Peace had returned once more to planet Earth, thanks to the efforts of the Z fighters, the people of Earth, and perhaps most significantly, the irrepressible Saiyan warrior Son Goku. Two weeks after the chaos of the Buu tournament, after everyone had a chance to calm down and return to their normal lives, Buruma Briefs brought the old group together for a lavish dinner to commemorate the destruction of Evil Buu and to celebrate Goku's resurrection. A delicious meal was enjoyed by all. Old memories were relived and new memories made as the boisterous group chatted, joked, and told stories in the party room of the Golden Emperor restaurant.

While waiting for the bill, Goku got up from his seat and excused himself to the bathroom. 

"Yamcha, Krillan, come with me, huh? I need to talk to you about something," Goku said cheerfully. Though slightly surprised, the two got up and came along without question. Gohan also tagged along, following his father.

Buruma shook her head as she watched the group of men troop off toward the restroom. "Hmph! And they think it's just a female thing."

Once inside the posh three-stall bathroom, Yamcha headed for the sink only to have Goku hook his arm and spin him back to the opposite direction.

"Huh? Oh, Goku. You said you wanted to tell us something?" 

Krillan paused as well. Goku stood in the center of the room, grinning broadly, and took a deep breath as though about to launch into a grand speech. Gohan stood quietly at his side like a dutiful son.

"Yamcha, Krillan, I just wanted to say thanks for the great welcome back dinner, and all the nice things you said during the toast. I appreciate it; you guys are true friends."

The two men smiled warmly. "Oh forget it, Goku, it was nothing! We were glad to do it," Krillan laughed.

"Yeah, everybody is happy to have you back. It's like a miracle."

"I'm glad for the second chance. The afterworld could get lonely at times. I know we didn't see a whole lot of each other before, but it was nice knowing you were out there, and that I could still go visit you when I needed. I thought about you guys a lot while I was dead– of all the great times we had, the adventures, the memories of training together. It was fun telling stories about the old days tonight."

Krillan chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "Heh! Yeah, those were some crazy times. I loved Oolong's story of how you stopped him from terrorizing that village, that was hilarious!"

"Mmm, yes." Goku thoughtfully tapped a finger against his lips. "But there _was _one little adventure that neither of you brought up; I'm wondering if you forgot about it. I've been thinking of that certain incident quite a bit lately– when you're dead you have a lot of time to think about these things, you know." 

Goku began to pace, an insinuating look upon his face. "A certain rowdy, hanging-upside-down incident, a certain _wet _incident? Ring any bells?"

Yamcha and Krillan looked at each other, lost. What was he getting at?

"You told me that day I was like a little brother to you, and that this was one of the ways brothers bonded. I have been remiss! I think it's high time I do my part to reciprocate and strengthen our bond with that activity that's 'an experience like no other!'"

The light bulb went on over both their heads at once. "Y-you don't mean–?!"

"BINGO!"

Yamcha and Krillan yelped in horror as the saiyans dove for them. Goku floored Yamcha and soon had him by the ankles, dangling in the air, as he twisted and wobbled in several unsuccessful attempts to right himself. Likewise with Gohan and Krillan, though Gohan's job was much easier since Krillan was so short.

"Yahh! Goku, you wouldn't dare!"

"Buck up, Yamcha! This essential brotherly bonding experience will only bring us closer together!"

Father and son ducked into adjacent stalls with their panicky victims. "Okay, Gohan, on the count of three! One, two, three–" 

"No no no!"

"SWIRLY!"

In went their heads, and down went the levers, releasing a noisy blast of tornadic water to rattle and drench each victim till he couldn't tell which way was up.

"And once more!"

Apparently Goku hadn't forgotten _any _detail of his initiation.

Goku and Gohan dropped them then and dashed back into the open area, grinning like Cheshire cats. As soon as the world stopped spinning, Yamcha and Krillan clambered out from the stalls, sputtering and snorting and wiping their eyes. Yamcha's hair stood on end, while Krillan's hair was long enough that it had attained the trademark "twist-cone" shape. Both flopped down and sat, defeated, on the restroom floor.

Goku and Gohan stood side by side and then struck a triangular, two-man victory pose. "You've just been victims of the," a dramatic pause, "_Saiyan Swirly Revenge Squad_! Hoo! Hah!" 

Krillan and Yamcha could only boggle in disbelief. Goku straightened up, hands on his hips, while Gohan continued demonstrating ridiculous poses from his Great Saiyaman repertoire. 

Yamcha let out a long-suffering groan and made a futile attempt to brush the water off his outfit. "Aaah, all over my favorite designer suit. Goku, you dork! I can't believe you waited twenty years for your revenge!"

"Ha ha! Well, you know what they say about 'a dish best served cold.' A revenge like this had to be savored, and I needed you to be completely unsuspecting! Oh, and King Kai helped me plan, this is his type of humor."

Silence for a moment, save for the dripping of water. Yamcha set an elbow on his knee and drummed his fingers against the side of his face. "Goku..." he said dangerously.

"Yeeess...?"

"YOU ARE ONE DEAD SAIYAN!"

Goku squealed in glee, grabbed Gohan by the collar, and bolted out the door, overturning the garbage can and knocking open the paper towel dispenser in his haste. The roll of towels flew out and unspooled under the sinks and garbage skidded across the floor as Yamcha scrambled to get up, slipping on the wet tile.

Outside, the rest of the group had paid the bill and was just getting up to leave. All heads turned toward the men's room, however, as the unholy racket of doors slamming and the metal garbage can creating a deafening, echoing clatter reached their ears. They looked up just in time to see Goku and son crash through the doors and go tearing through the restaurant toward the exit, whooping and laughing, a very wet Yamcha and Krillan following in hot pursuit only seconds later.

"You come back here, Goku!" Yamcha bellowed, fist in the air. "You are in for the Snicker-snag of a lifetime! Krillan, go get me a Snickers!"

"Hey, wait up!"

Everyone in the establishment gawked. Vegeta came to his senses first, folding his arms and pointing his nose skyward. "Disgraceful bakas!" he scoffed, while deep down a small part of him wished he could have been a part of all their fun.

The rabble-rousers chased down the hill, across the grassy lawn, and into the bordering forest. Gohan veered to the left to escape. "Don't blame me, I'm just a pawn! It was all his idea!" he shouted.

They ignored him and went to the right, after the mastermind. Yamcha delighted in the absurd chase. Goku's hardly even using his ki, he thought. He wants to be caught.

Sure enough, Goku glanced over his shoulder and flashed a cheeky grin, and Yamcha used that opportunity to take a flying leap and tackle him to the ground. Krillan caught up with them instantly.

Goku shrieked and squirmed, unable to stop laughing, as Yamcha sat on his chest to keep him in place.

"Well damn, Goku! I didn't think you had it in you to pull childish pranks. I'm impressed! Okay, Krillan..."

Krillan and Yamcha simultaneously scrubbed their hands through their toilet water-soaked hair, and then mashed them into Goku's wild mop until it was a frazzled mess.

"SWIRLY SECONDS!"

"Ah, no! Ha ha ha ha!"

Goku fell back, trying to catch his breath, a manic grin still plastered across his face. "Ahh... it's good to be alive again."

"Hell, yeah!"

****

The three came strolling out of the woods with their arms around each other, laughing and chattering, as the rest of the group descended the stairs on the hill to the lawn below. Vegeta stalked up to the wet, dirty, and disheveled trio.

"What the _hell _was that all about, you imbeciles?"

"Oh, you wouldn't understand, Vegeta," Krillan said lightly.

"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid, kisama! I demand to know what that embarrassing display was all about!"

"You want to know what we were doing?"

"Yes, Kakarot!"

Dark eyes glinted. "Sure, Vegeta, no problem," Goku said, as he slipped an arm around the stiff prince's shoulders and steered him back toward the restaurant. "Y'know Vegeta, you've lived on Earth for quite some time now, but you still don't know all our customs. The guys and I would be glad to introduce you to one of them..."

****

Epilogue– Tonight on Channel Z News: The Golden Emperor restaurant sustained substantial damage this afternoon from what is determined to be a major explosion in the men's restroom, possibly from a practical joke. Three laughing, dark-haired men were seen fleeing the scene, chased by a fourth, sopping wet man. Witnesses heard a final bon mot from the three men before they disappeared into the woods: "Oh come on, Vegeta, every royal should know his throne inside and out."

The end

****

A/N Ah, boys having fun! Aren't they darling? For anyone who may not know, a 'snag' is when you hawk up a loogie (or just gather a bunch of saliva) and spit it on someone, and a 'Snicker-snag' is when you do it after you've just eaten a Snickers so the spit is still all brown and thick (bleggh). Just one of the many methods young boys have invented to torture each other with.


End file.
